IYKYK — If You Don’t…
The Hawks’ right winger moves the puck into the offensive zone with speed, gaining the outside edge and driving deep behind the Pumas’ net. His eyes are scanning, reading the ice as he looks for an opening—either a clean pass back out front to one of two options or a quick wraparound. The Pumas’ defense is slow to react. One defender makes an attempt to chase, while the others are clustered awkwardly in front of the net, out of position and unaware of the threats forming around them.
Meanwhile, the left winger for the Hawks finds open ice, accelerating into the high slot with purpose. The center, is also unmarked and moves into an opening left by the right winger’s vapour trail. The puck carrier quickly assesses his options—three viable targets—and the goalie is left to make an impossible decision. Does he commit to defending the potential wraparound in tight, or push up aggressively to cut off potential passes to the slot
He waits for the winger to clear and prepares to challenge, looking to push to the top of the crease to narrow the angle and cut down the net. It’s textbook positioning for a goalie trying to play the geometry—closer means less net for the shooter, but it comes at a risk and it costs valuable time. Overcommit, and a quick pass across the crease leaves an open net and a helpless goalie caught mid-slide. But which shooter to choose? In this case, the puck zips out from behind the net, clean to the left winger, who rifles it past the goalie. Goal.
The Pumas’ coach mutters loudly, “For f*ck’s sake, you can’t see that?” His tone is angry and unmistakably directed at the goaltender. It’s loud enough for players nearby to hear. Loud enough to travel back down the bench and make its way to the goaltender post-game
The problem isn’t just the goal. It’s the message.
The goalie, a well-liked and respected member of the team, hears the critique not as a coaching point, but as a condemnation. His confidence takes a hit. Self-doubt creeps in. What could’ve been a learning opportunity has now become a wedge. The coach, while successful on paper—having led the team to a championship last season and currently holding first place—has exposed a deeper flaw in his leadership approach.
Yes, he knows systems. He’s great at drawing plays on a whiteboard and expecting players to execute. But he lacks three essential tools that distinguish a good coach from a great leader: empathy, effective communication, and situational awareness.
Empathy: Understanding the Individual to Strengthen the Team
Empathy is often misunderstood as mere kindness or emotional softness, but in the context of leadership—especially in sport—it’s a powerful strategic tool. Empathy allows a coach to understand what drives each individual athlete, what challenges they face, and how best to unlock their performance. It’s the ability to step into someone else’s shoes, not just during the highs of victory, but during the lows of failure, injury, or doubt.
In the case of the Pumas’ goalie, a coach with empathy would recognize the near-impossible situation he was put in—not by a lapse in judgment, but by a breakdown in defensive coverage. Empathy would enable the coach to see the effort and read the intention behind the goalie’s movement, rather than simply reacting to the end result.
Moreover, empathy builds trust. When athletes feel seen and heard, they become more resilient and more receptive to instruction. They don’t fear failure, because they know their coach is invested in their growth, not just their results. In this way, empathy becomes a multiplier of performance, not a liability. In high-performance environments, empathy isn’t a luxury—it’s a necessity.
Without it, even the most successful coaches hit a ceiling. Their teams may win games, but they won't achieve sustainable greatness or strong, cohesive culture. Players will begin to play cautiously, fearing critique over creativity, and mistakes will go uncorrected as players shut down rather than open up.
Communication: The Power of What, When, and Where
Communication is the oxygen of leadership—it must be clear, consistent, and purposeful. But it’s not just what you say that matters. When and where you say it can be equally important.
Criticizing a player in front of their teammates—or worse, from the bench mid-game—undermines trust and respect. It puts the player on blast and shifts focus from problem-solving to self-protection. In this case, the coach’s public outburst turned a teaching moment into a confidence-crushing moment. The goalie didn’t hear “We need to work on this situation.” He heard, “You failed, and I’m done with you.”.
Effective leaders choose their moments wisely. In the heat of a game, emotions run high, and timing becomes everything. A simple shift in delivery—a quiet word during intermission or a focused discussion in video review the next day—can preserve the player’s dignity and allow for a productive conversation. The message might be the same, but the impact is profoundly different.
Great communicators also ask more questions than they give answers. “What did you see there?” or “What made you make that choice?” opens up dialogue and creates ownership. It builds smarter players and sharper decision-makers. Leadership, especially in sport, is about getting buy-in—not barking orders
On a broader level, communication sets the tone for team culture. If players see that mistakes are met with humiliation or blame, they won’t take risks. But if they know errors will be analyzed constructively and fairly, they’ll compete with confidence. Coaches who master the art of communication elevate not only individual players but the collective mindset of the entire group.
Situational Awareness: The Leadership X-Factor
Situational awareness may be the most underrated trait in leadership. It’s the ability to read the room, the game, the player—and adjust in real time. It combines perception, timing, emotional intelligence, and an understanding of the micro and macro elements affecting performance.
In the Pumas’ scenario, the coach zeroed in on the end result without truly grasping the layers of context. A situationally aware leader would recognize not only the breakdown in team defense but also the psychological state of his goaltender, the rhythm of the game, and the ripple effects of his comments.
Situational awareness enables leaders to pause before reacting, to assess whether now is the time to correct, to support, or to let something go temporarily. It also means understanding the strategic moment: is this a playoff game or a development opportunity? Is this player already under pressure from external factors? Is now the time to push or pull back?
The best coaches—and leaders in any field—read patterns as they emerge. They notice when a player’s confidence is dipping, when chemistry between linemates is clicking, or when fatigue is affecting decision-making. These cues inform decisions far more than a score or stat line.
When situational awareness is coupled with empathy and strong communication, leadership becomes transformative. It empowers leaders to respond rather than react. To guide rather than dictate. To build rather than break.
Insights
“If you know, you know.” It’s a popular phrase in sports circles, often meant to signal a level of insider understanding. But here’s the truth: If you don’t know, it doesn’t mean you can’t learn. It doesn’t mean you’re not capable of getting there.
The greatest leaders aren’t those who claim to know it all. They’re the ones who stay curious, who seek feedback, who invest in their own development as much as they do in their team’s. Leadership isn’t a fixed trait—it’s a skillset, one that grows with intention and reflection.
If you find yourself in a position of authority—coach, manager, captain, or mentor—take the time to examine your toolkit. Are you leading with empathy? Are you communicating with purpose? Are you reading the room and adjusting your approach?
At Wilowe, we specialize in helping individuals and teams build these exact competencies. Whether you’re trying to get more out of your players, create a stronger culture, or grow your own capacity as a leader, we’re here to help.
It’s not about being perfect. It’s about being intentional. Because when leaders commit to growth, everyone wins.
Let’s get to work. Wilowe is here to support your development, challenge your assumptions, and help you build something lasting—on the ice, in the boardroom, or anywhere leadership matters most.
© 2025, WAYNE TUCK
